I had you wondering
Why I kept in touch
I call, I text, and say a whole lot of
Not much
You’re my friend, love
Friends are the family you choose
And you are the family
I was unwilling to lose
This is my madness
I never saw you that way
And it doesn’t make sense to most
That that’s how I would like it to stay
It got messy, oh so messy
For me and for you
Messiness breeds from the hidden
And half truths
Nothing, so much nothing
Has glutted the minds and the mouths of some
All that vastness
Did not one favor
It’s victims were us
Cluttering your head
Voices loud and vile
Filled with twisted plots and dread
I had heard them as well
Other storms invading mine
For you it was crippling
For me, just part of the tide
It got awkward
Manifesting worse and worse
So much so
that in truth it hurts
And much more now
I know what is next
I am leaving you
Leaving you, my friend
Be happy, be whole, be everything else
Be even more without me
If that is what helps
All the best for you
And for me
This is the path I know
For us all to find peace
I wouldn’t accept it
It took time to see
Panic’s fervor couldn’t restore
The friendship that was
So I’ll seal that door
And I have questions. I do
But I will let them be
Because friendships were built
To make you happy
I lost my joy and lost my will
And was I mistaken?
Was our friendship not real?
I gather my strength
And those questions to you
I will bury them soundly
With our friendship
the one which I knew