Spare me the shame
Take it back
Go back, go back
take it back
unraveled cannot we rewind
and I am here
waiting
waiting
and hoping
and not hoping
if there were such a thing as purgatory
I am there
If there were such a river Styx
that is where you will find me
and my heart
we were pitched into a thick, deep, dark
river Styx
a place without hope
a place to sink into the endless night
a place to bury the glimmers of a life
we had lost some time ago
and here I am
waiting
for what
I do not know
you dream of the light
you once had
and hope it were real
and you think
there will be a time
they will whisk your spirit
away from this place
and they will lift you up and carry you
to a place you want to call home
but you know
there is no home
and there is no boat
and there is no hand
for you
you know
there is no way back home
back to the light
back to the life
you had once
the one where everything was set
everything was clear and bright and beautiful
and you were there
free
A home free
of the darkness of dread and regret
free of the turbulent abyss
of confusion and anger
free of longing, of missing, of wanting
you were at once free
at least
that is how it is told
in my memory
I sold myself
on an image of the future
that turned out to be
nothing more
and now I am cold in the dark
pondering fate
pondering release
pondering
what will become
of this
of you
of me